by Michelle Karl
This is the fourth post for Michelle’s blog series. Her previous SaraBella posts include, “Cancer, Set Me Free“, “Fuel For Growth” and “Floating Together“. She has shared her insight about her 16 month battle with (against) stage 2 breast cancer as she adventures on a 3-week road/boat trip through Wyoming, Idaho, Montana & British Columbia — to fish, camp, explore, reflect, and rejoice. She will continue to share reflections, adventures, challenges, and growth. We hope you enjoy this post — about 2 weeks into her trip. We’re honored that Michelle is sharing her story with us, so we can share it with you!
My husband just went off to float the Elk River in Canada. This is his time to fish in peace without distraction. This is his passion, and I am glad he is getting this time. We have also been together quite a bit on this trip.
I was thinking about this yesterday as we were driving to get here. Do I really make the people I love better people? I know that I have faults. I know that we all have faults. But do I actively in some way or another help others to be the best of who they can be? What does that even mean? Does it mean that I help them to be successful or less annoying, or irritable, or kinder? I do not know if that is really in my control. I can try to teach, but most of the time, the teaching is my own agenda and fails. I can model, and hope that my target person picks up the lesson. I can invest all the energy I have into making change happen and then be disappointed when it doesn’t…
Or I can just love. It seems that it always comes back to the simplest answer. I can love when it is difficult and when it is unpleasant. I can love enough to provide a safe place and acceptance. I can take all the love I have been shown in my entire life and give it back. I can use that love to give me the energy and the confidence to admit when I am wrong and not always need an apology when someone else is.
Cancer validated the love in my life. I was alone in my personal suffering but I was never truly alone. We are never truly alone. There is a bigness in our world, in life and living. There is a connectivity that we cannot avoid. In humbling ourselves to love intimately and imperfectly we can never be alone.